Steve and I have been together a bit over six years, and we’ve been very happy together. We have many similar interests and sex has always been great, though not very adventurous, and at times we’ve had to shake ourselves out of the sameness that creeps in with most couples.
We both have professional jobs, and Steve usually leaves our house earlier than me. About five months ago after going through our usual morning routine of Showering, a quick chat over breakfast and a departing kiss Steve rushed off, leaving me to tidy up and get off to work as well.
I was about to leave when I remembered I needed the address of a customer I intended to visit in the course of my work so I went to our computer to turn it on, but I found that Steve had left it on and still logged on. We had an unspoken understanding that we respected each-others privacy and had our own logins.
In a rush this time, and only wanting to quickly use google, I started entering my inquiry. To my surprise, predictive words started popping up that made my mouth drop open in amazement. Words such as chastity, submissive, slave and mistress flashed up. GOBSMACKED, I sat with my mind racing trying to make sense of all this. It seems Steve has been looking at such things. Feeling slightly guilty, but too curious to resist I took a peek at Steve’s browsing history and bookmarks. I became so intrigued at what I saw I phoned and cancelled my first appointment to give me more time to explore.
I found there were links to stories about orgasm control, domination, Male slaves and punishments. I softly said to myself
“Steve, what goes on in your mind?”
At first I felt betrayed and upset, and then I started to worry that it might mean that he’s got a really weird side I know nothing about. I read more about it and researched some of the informed websites rather than the extreme fantasy trash and I learned that these sorts of desires are common in men and even some women.
I looked at Steve’s bookmarks and history searches to see what his secret desires are. I was relieved to see they weren’t too heavy. I suspected most of the extreme stuff that was scaring me on some websites was just fictional fantasy’s and not real anyway.
Many women that decide to do this sort of thing discover they enjoy taking the dominant role and having their man under their control.
My mind was abuzz all day while I contemplated how to bring this up with Steve or whether I even should. We both arrived home about 7pm and Steve helped me with preparing our meal as he often did. After a while I took a deep breath and tried to keep my voice steady as I said,
“I used the computer this morning and I accidently saw some stuff that you’ve been looking at.”
He looked very startled and almost in a panic. I told him I was not so upset about what he’d looked at, but was I really hurt that he didn’t think he could confide in me about all this stuff.
He stammered and stuttered that he thought I might be disgusted and didn’t want to risk that so kept it to himself. I let him stew on that for a while then asked him just how interested in all this was he, and was it something he actually wanted to experience for real. He gave me a strange look; his face went red, and perspiration formed on his forehead. I said abruptly,
“Come on, tell me, it’s not a trick question.”
He told me that he just enjoyed reading ¬and fantasying about it and tried to escape the tense situation by laughingly saying that there’s no way that’s ever going to happen anyway.
I looked at him intently and quizzed,
“What if there were an opportunity?”
He looked totally confused and stammered,
“What do you mean?”
“Would you like to play at being my slave?”
He swallowed hard and tried to avoid the question by laughing and saying I couldn’t be harsh enough to make it real. I gave him a look that totally took him by surprise and said,
“Don’t be so sure about that.”
He looked very taken aback. Looking at him intently, I slowly and deliberately said,
“I’ll think more about this and we’ll talk again about it later.”
The next morning we got ready to leave for work as normal, but just before Steve was about to leave, I said,
“Here’s something for you to think about. I might consider being a mistress for you. But before I decide, I want you to write me today a full list of all the things you fantasise about while being a slave.”
I warned that if I did choose to do this, I would only ever consider doing what he puts on the list today, and would never ever do anything he left off. That really threw him, and he looked sort of trapped and uncertain as he scurried off.
I got a call from Steve about midday and in a hesitant voice he said he had been thinking, and didn’t think I had the temperament to be a Mistress and that I wouldn’t be able to make him seriously feel like a slave.
I took the opportunity to give him something to think about. I very abrasively said,
“Let me see your list and we’ll see. Don’t underestimate what I’m capable of. Most women have a suppressed dominant side and it could be you’re not the only one with secret desires.”
I broke off the call abruptly to make a point. In truth, I’d never thought about doing anything like this before, but even the brief bit of research I had done had stirred something in me and set me thinking. The idea was growing on me, and my darling Steve says he wants this. Yes, I’ll wait for his list before I decide. I’m beginning to think I might enjoy the pleasure of occasionally exerting my dominant side, be in complete control and disciplining him.
That evening I got home at the usual time and was amazed to see Steve had already prepared our meal and had gone to a lot of trouble including candles and wine glasses. I thought to myself,
“This Mistress thing definitely has potential.”
During our meal I was my usual self, but kept myself just a little aloof. When we finished the meal and our coffee, I look directly into his eyes and demanded,
“Well, let me have your list”.
His face reddened and he fumbled around while I held my hand out for the list. Eventually he reached for his bag, took out a sheet of paper and started to say something as he handed it to me. I abruptly cut him off and told him I didn’t want to hear any more from him right now, and he wasn’t to leave the table until I had read the list. He looked startled because I had never spoken so strictly to him before. I noted with gratifying satisfaction the powerful effect this had on him. He sat anxiously like a naughty child in trouble and nervously waited while I very slowly and deliberately read through his list.
He had written,
These are fantasies I’ve dreamed about, but have never realistically expect to experience,
-To be completely dominated and held helplessly captive by a woman and forced to do whatever she commands, and for her to do whatever she wishes to me and with me.
-To be kept in bondage and completely under her control for as long as my Mistress wishes.
-Teased and denied orgasm for an uncertain period and for as long as my Mistress pleases.
-To be made to earn any orgasm my Mistress might allow me to have.
-Being forced to please my Mistress sexually in any way she pleases.
-To suffer any humiliation my Mistress pleases
-To be treated as a Slave, forced to obey and to be chastised with a whip or anything else my Mistress chooses for punishment or just for her amusement.
As I read this, I smiled and was relieved that there was nothing that I thought too extreme. In fact, I could see myself enjoying and really getting into this. The idea of sometimes being a bitch to him, having him squirming under my whip, and forcing him to do anything I demand is becoming very appealing, and was actually turning me on. I didn’t let on my thoughts or what I was feeling to Steve, I decided to let him stew a bit longer.
Well, if he wants me to act like a Mistress I might as well get some practice, so I looked at him seriously and told him I would consider all this and might make him an offer.
That night in bed, I turned down his advances, saying that I wanted to sort my mind out first. Steve instantly started apologising, but I cut him off,
“Don’t get so up-tight, you might have some big decisions to make soon, so think about that.”
I found myself already enjoying my new found power, and wondered just what fun and pleasure it could lead to. For me that is!
The next day I did a more serious research on the better websites and eventually I wrote this email to Steve
Dearest Steve, It hurt to find out you’ve harboured these fantasies all these years and didn’t feel you could confide in me. I guess that explains some of the times you came to bed after being online and fucked vigorously and selfishly with no regard for what I was feeling. There may come a time when you might regret that.
Your list is actually interesting me quite a lot, and you’re about to find out whether I’m strong enough to dominate you. You know I like a challenge, and you’re going to find I’m not as soft as you might think.
But first there are some things I must make clear to you though.
I am not interested in being a life style Mistress but I’d agree to periodic indulgences that could be anything from an evening, a day, a weekend or even a week and that would be entirely up to me.
If you want to do this you must agree never to refuse surrendering to me when I demand it. The first time you did would be the last time I’d ever be your Mistress.
During the fantasy times you would be completely at my mercy and don’t expect any. During those times I’ll be your Mistress NOT your loving Penny.
Your list is a very broad outline and I alone will interpret what I can do within it.
Neither of us will allow our fantasy times to influence our normal life style except I may punish you when you’re at my mercy for anything you do to displease me at any time. No more leaving my car nearly out of petrol, or else.
Your humiliation might include making you dress in women’s clothing, being made to do some unpleasant embarrassing things. I might even make you do embarrassing things with a third person present entirely of my choosing. And if I decided to, it could someone we know, female or male.
You will be my slave and submissive in every sense of the words and I will treat you in any way I please.
You never expected this did you? If your knees are not shaking too much and you still want to do this then there are two things you must do today.
-First, think carefully about what I’ve written and be sure you really want this. This is awakening something I never knew was in me, and I have no idea how far l might go to with this.
-Second, if you decide you still want this you will go to the adult shop today and buy some handcuffs and a strong flexible cane about a metre long.
By 6pm tonight and not a minute later, you will be naked in our garage with your hands cuffed above your head to one of the centre beams. You’ll place the handcuff keys in our letter-box before you cuff yourself. If I get home at 6pm and you haven’t done this it’s all off forever. Tonight will be your one and only chance and it will be a trial to see if we continue this.
There’s your challenge. Now we will see how serious really you are. DON’T contact me again today. I’ll see you at 6pm, naked and helpless or not, up to you.
Your love and impending mistress.
xxx
I smiled as I clicked the send button. I was really getting into this and feeling very excited in more ways than one. I had deliberately written things that would make him very anxious and raise the stakes to test him and make his decision more difficult.
My concentration was off for the rest of the day and the four hours before I saw how Steve handled this dragged by. I imagined that Steve would be either wildly excited, or had I gone too far and he’s cringing wanting to call it off. I found myself realising I would be disappointed if he did.
The afternoon finally passed, but I deliberately delayed arriving home until after 6:30pm. If Steve had taken the challenge, he would be naked and handcuffed in our garage anxiously wondering what is in store for him.
I parked in our drive with my curiosity running wild. Was Steve handcuffed naked on the other side of the garage door? I overcame my mischievous temptation to use the garage door remote. My heart was beating fast as I quickly walked to our letter-box and yes, the Handcuff keys were there.
So obviously Steve had made himself a prisoner in the Garage and wouldn’t be going anywhere until I let him. Realising I was now in full control was a real rush for me, and I relished the feeling. I didn’t need to hurry and wanted to savour the moment, so I went upstairs smiling to get into more comfortable clothes making enough noise to keep Steve guessing.
By now I knew his anxiety level would be soaring, and to be honest so was mine. I had never done anything like this before, but I was feeling very excited.
I willed myself to wait about twenty minutes before nonchalantly walking into our Garage and yes there he was, looking quite embarrassed and more naked than naked with his hands cuffed above his head. He had also rigged some ropes from each side of the garage to hold his legs apart as well. He had a great body and usually liked to show it off to me but I could see he was feeling very self-conscious right now. My excitement and sensation of power was growing rapidly, highlighted by my being fully dressed and in control while Steve was naked and helpless. My first ever power reversal.
He was very flushed, excited and uncertain, and judging by the size of his ridged bobbing cock, very aroused and horny. I don’t think I had ever seen it so hard and big before.
“Quite a fix you’ve put yourself in,” I said smiling at him.
He squirmed as I slowly looked him over and checked there was no way he could escape.
“Why do you think I insisted on this before making up my mind?”
He looked embarrassed and reluctant to say anything. I spotted the cane I had ordered him to get placed on the bench. I picked it up and swished through the air a couple of times as I walked behind him.
I said to myself, “Well, this is it, I never ever thought I would be doing this but here goes.”
With some trepidation, I brought the cane down tentatively, but with some vigour on his naked bum. He yelped and his body jerked as the cane made a pleasing sound. I was startled at my reaction to this. I thought I might have been worried about hurting Steve, but instead my sensation of power sky rocketed and my sense of control over my naked man washed over me. I was really getting into this. He couldn’t get away or stop me, and this is what he wanted. This was becoming fun and very arousing. I raised the cane again and this time struck with much more confidence and his yelp this time was much louder as he tried in vain to twist away.
His face had an incredulous look on it as I stood in front of him tapping my leg with the cane and I said,
“Let’s try that question again. Why do you think I insisted on this before making up my mind?”
I got satisfaction and pleasure at seeing a flicker of fear as he realised I meant business. I savoured the way he replied quickly this time,
“So I can see if I really want this,” which was exactly what I thought he’d say.
“So you think this is all about you and no consideration for me, typical,” I said
I quickly move behind him and gave him another three or four more stinging blows.
“Well?” I asked stroking his shoulder with the cane.
He quickly blurted, “And to see if you want to do it.”
“No, just to see if I want to do it. You’ve already said you want this”.
“Did the cane hurt” I smiled.
“Yes Mistress, ” he stammered. I flicked the cane at him saying
“No, I’m not your Mistress yet. Believe me, I’m only warming up compared to what I’ll do as your Mistress.”
I changed my stance and grasped his cock with my hand and leaned forward to kiss him. His eyes lit up as he leaned forward eagerly to kiss me, but I moved my head back just out of reach looking into his eyes while stroking his cock. It only took a minute or two for his hips to start thrusting his cock into my hand. I know Steve’s signs very well, he was quickly becoming desperate to cum as he vigorously fucked my hand. He yelled in utter frustration when I opened my hand at the crucial moment denying him the friction he desperately needed to get there.
I just loved his frantic reaction and his one hundred percent focus on me. I had never seen this before and I was enjoying myself so much I continued teasing and frustrating him for another half hour. By this time he was desperately begging to cum and had got himself a few more canings on the way for being disrespectful. I was very pleased with the redness I had inflicted on his bum.
I was fascinated that though he was very horny by now and desperate to cum, when I asked him if he wanted to cum now, he hesitated a fraction before pleading that he did. I thought something is going on here I don’t understand, and I must try to find out at some stage.
All this stimulation was making me very aroused as well and I thought to myself what fun I’ll have when I can make him satisfy me however and whenever I want while denying him.
Actual tears of frustration began to appear in his eyes, which only spurred me on, and suddenly had a devilish idea. I grasped hold of his cock and let him fuck my hand again and as he got close again, I said
“Okay, it’s time.” With that he redouble his efforts to fuck my hand thinking I was at last going to let him ejaculate. Then when he was mere stroke or two away from blowing his load, I finished what I was saying.
“Okay, it’s time I did something about dinner.”
Then I stepped back to watch the effect yet another denial had on him. It was spectacular and after enjoying his desperate reaction I told him not to go anywhere, and went back into the house with his howls of frustration music to my ears.
After a few minutes Steve started calling out to me. I rather hoped that he would. I stormed back into the garage and gave him five or six vigorous canings. I was really warming to this and I could see he really felt them by his yelping and futile attempts to twist away. He did a great job adding the ankle restraints, they restricted his movement nicely. I demanded he opened his mouth and I put the cane in it and demanded that he hold it there. I threatened that if he dropped it before I took it back, I will do my best to break the cane over his bum even if it took a hundred swings.
I could see his look of fear that said is this really my Penny? I stood up close in his face and said,
“Well do you still doubt that I can be strong enough?” He emphatically shook his head and I had no doubt he meant it. I told him he had woken something in me and I was l really looking forward to exploring all this and making him my Slave.
I turned to leave again, but couldn’t resist making him fuck my hand again. I was fascinated that he couldn’t hold back from trying to fuck my hand, even though he knew I would probably deny him again. As he got closer and closer I kept varying the friction around his cock to hold him on the very verge for a prolonged time and increased his frustration to an unbearable level. Just when he thought he was there I reminded him not to drop the cane out of his mouth and just stepped back. It was a treat watching him trying to deal with his agonising cries of frustration and denial while not dropping the cane. He only just managed.
I went back to getting dinner organised smiling to myself. He wasn’t able to call out with the cane in his mouth.
After another half hour I decided that this had gone far for now enough to prove the point I wanted to make.
I went back into the garage and sat down and told Steve I’d done all I needed to do to prove I could be his Mistress, and that I’m really going to enjoy doing it. I deliberately left the cane in his mouth so he could only listen and not talk at this stage.
Are you convinced I’m strong enough to dominate you? He nodded enthusiastically.
Do you still want to be my slave along the lines we’ve discussed? More enthusiastic nodding.
After what I did to you tonight do you still want to suffer denial, frustration and punishment? Again, more eager nodding.
I said he could drop the cane now and I’d release him and we could fuck and cum. Again, I saw what seemed to be a flicker of disappointment. What the hell do men want?
I released him and was amazed at his reaction. He hugged and kissed me with such passion it felt like it did in our early days. He thanked me and told me he loved me over and over. He talked excitedly non-stop saying he would never have thought I would be able to really and truly dominate him, but he was ecstatic that I obviously can.
We went upstairs to our bedroom to give each other a good fucking which I needed as much as he did. I could never remember enjoying a fucking as much before.
When we came back down to earth we went back down to have our overdue dinner and later that night I asked,
“Well, was it what you thought it would be” I asked. He nodded without hesitation and said he couldn’t wait for the next step.
I said I had been doing some reading and we would need some more equipment to enable me to enslave him the way I wanted. Steve was over the moon that I was on board with this and said “just tell me what you want honey and I’ll get it.”
I gave him a list
Cock chastity cage
Collars
An assortment of whips
A leg spreader
Some rope and chain
Handcuffs we already have
A dildo
A blindfold and ball gag
His eye’s widened and I sensed his excitement as he read the list. He asked when we could do it again. I told him as soon as he gets the equipment, perhaps next weekend. I could see love and appreciation, even admiration pouring out of his eyes. I thought to myself, I’m going to enjoy this just as much, or even more than you Steve.
I said tell me something. I had you so desperate to cum to the point you were almost crying, but whenever I mentioned I might release you or let you cum I thought I saw a flicker of disappointed. What’s going on there? Steve said he didn’t know really, he just wanted his domination, frustration and suffering to continue and wanted to be made to beg and being made to wait and wait.
This fascinated me so I spent a lot of time searching for information on the internet. I finally found some articles that were informative and factual. I learned that chemical changes take place in the brain before, during and after orgasm. The effects are quite different for a man to that of a woman.
The articles explained men feel great pleasure when sexually aroused, and most would like to prolong that feeling, but he reaches a point where the compulsion to ejaculate overtakes him and it’s virtually impossible for him to hold back. It’s this irresistible urge that ensures the survival of our species.
Although extreme pleasure is experienced at the moment of orgasm, a man’s orgasmic pleasure peak lasts for only a few seconds then he immediately feels emotionally completely flat. (Sexual pleasure over). So men experience great pleasure while in a highly aroused state, (the more highly aroused, the greater the pleasure).
But also the more highly aroused he becomes, the greater the urge and more quickly he’ll reach orgasm and ejaculate. Then, because of the chemistry changes in his brain after he orgasms, it’s all over for him, sometimes it can be days before normal levels of arousal tendencies kick in again. During this time, the attractiveness of sex and even his partner reduces to a lower level, gradually returning to normal until the next ejaculation.
It’s practically impossible for him to control this natural, primal urge to ejaculate once aroused beyond a certain point. But most men want the pleasure of high arousal to last for longer periods, so fantasise about being controlled by another person who denies him an ejaculation while keeping him aroused.
Now the bondage, denial and chastity start to make sense. Sex and his Partner are extremely attractive to him when he’s aroused, until he ejaculates. (How often do woman complain about the lack of interest after sex)
The only way for a man to stay highly aroused for prolonged periods is not to ejaculate. Therefore, prolonged high arousal and sexual pleasure can only be achieved by men that are forced to abstain from ejaculation. Some men find being locked in a Chastity device gives them a constant lower level arousal that they enjoy, and causes them to retain a higher level of attraction to sex and their partner, especially if the length of time is determined by his key holder.
This can lead to a desire of being completely dominated and controlled. Bondage, slave training and punishment in various forms is the basis of this.
So what does all this mean? My interpretation is that when a man being controlled pleads to be allowed to orgasm, at that moment he desperately really does want to, and his pleas are real. But he is also getting extreme pleasure from being held at such a high level of arousal.
When at that high level, his primal to ejaculate would be irresistible. And if he were able, he would make himself orgasm, experience the pleasure peak, then immediately suffer his arousal resetting to Zero. Game over. With that control out of his hands (so to speak), his arousal and pleasure can be manipulated for hours, days or longer. So contrary to what most women think, restricting his orgasms makes sex and his partner far more attractive and exciting to him, and women can exploit and enjoy this and strengthen the bond between them.
I have read that some lifestyle Submissives are only allowed to orgasm once a month, or even longer to keep them aroused, focused and appreciating sex and their partner.
Periodic Submissive episodes ranging from hours to a few days are more common, and that’s where I am with Steve. We’ve found these episodes very arousing, exciting, satisfying and bonding. They have completely revitalised our relationship and taken it to a new level. It also shows that making the effort to understand each other is extremely well rewarded.
From the key holders view, many women say that they have had the best sex ever during these episodes with their partners. A woman has the power to make sure they don’t miss out just because their men do. Men become more attentive than ever, and become very adept with their fingers, and tongue. The man’s incentive is that they might be allowed their primal urge to ejaculate if they give great sexual pleasure and please their key holder. Plus the subservience of being made to please his Mistress sexually in whatever way she demands is very arousing for him. It’s certainly that way for Steve. He loves being controlled by me.
It seems most men that have these fantasies admit it’s not usually their partners they see in their heads, and strange as it may seem it’s not beautiful busty sexy women either. Their Mistress and tormentor inflicting the torment, pain and pleasure they crave in their fantasies is usually faceless, because it’s themselves and what’s being done to them they are focusing on. Some, otherwise ‘Straight’ men even have fantasies that their tormentor is another man. They believe another man will be sterner and understand better about what they want.
Part time submissive men say they feel much stronger bonds in their relationship with their partner when they participate in his fantasies. It’s very important to them that his Mistress enjoys her power over him and takes advantage of it. I have no trouble making my enjoyment very evident to Steve.
Now that I have a better understanding of what drives men to have these fantasies (and I suspect most men don’t know why themselves) I’ve become very confident, and delight in periodically being Steve’s Mistress and making him a real slave to me for as long as I wish.
So now when Steve begs and pleads, it just spurs me on. I know what he really wants and needs better than he does, and I decide what, where and when. The cock cage is very useful for keeping him under my control when he’s not tied up.
I delight at the look of desperation on his face when he’s tied up, desperate to cum, and I put his cock cage back on. He has no idea how long it will be before he can touch his cock again. It could be an hour or two, many hours or even days.
But of course during that time I demand that he satisfies me as much as I want, and I’ve trained him to be a more obedient subservient slave than he had ever imagined in his fantasies. Determined training, sometimes quite painful, has made him very compliant and eager to please. He knows I’m very willing to punish when needed.
After all, when it comes right down to it, men will do anything for the primal urge to ejaculate …. And I do let Steve ejaculate….Eventually ….When I choose…. If I choose, and he loves it that way.