Hurts to Love

Kaden walked in the door without a smile on his face.

“Take that off,” He ordered, pointing to my towel. I had just stepped out of the shower when I heard a knock at the door. He pulled the smaller towel from my hair and dropped it to the floor. The cool beads hit my warm back with the nearly twenty inches of thick, moist hair and rolled to my bottom.

I hadn’t run the towel over me at all, only wrapped it around me and ran to unlock the door.

“Turn around over here up on the couch and bend over,” He said as he dropped his jacket onto the recliner. His voice was cool, uncompromising.

I complied. I could hear that he was angry with me. He hadn’t given away his thoughts while we chatted on the phone earlier, but I knew from his coolness that he felt our situation was dire. There was no warning, just three heavy, hard smacks on my bare wet ass. I moaned, absorbing the pain. I wouldn’t allow myself to wince, though his hands bit into my flesh, and left my ass stinging.

He shoved a couple of fingers into my pussy to feel how wet I was and quickly removed them, spit on his fingers and shoved them inside again. He moved them in and out fast, furiously. I started to rock into the motion, but he stopped. Denied.

I cried out as he smacked my ass again, harder and again, harder still. A tidal wave rolled inside of me, and reached itself up high. My muscles clenched, my back arched and my breath drew in sharply. He pulled his fingers out of me. The denial was excruciating. I was so close to climax.

He grabbed my waist length brown hair and wrapped it twice around one hand. He pulled me up, and used his opposite hand to guide me onto my feet on the floor

“Walk,” he said and smacked my bottom again, just as hard as the last time.

I said nothing, only obeyed. My nipples were tight and hard. I caught sight of the two of us in the hall mirror, on the way back to the room, he as watching me. We made eye contact in the mirror, and he smacked my ass again. Harder.

“Face down. On the bed. Now,” he said, with anger in his tone. He let go of my hair, and I started to move to climb on the bed, but first, turned to look at him as he shoved his pants down, revealing his rock hard cock.

“Did I say look at me? Down, now,” he grabbed my hips, pressed his knees into the backs of my knees, wrapped an arm around my front, and used a steady hand to push me over, bent at the waist. I saw him reach for something on my dresser.

I took a deep breath and exhaled it extra slowly. I felt and heard the smack of the large, wide bamboo brush against my skin. He smacked me again. I cried out. Used his free hand to caress the area, then smacked me again.

“Do you like that?” he asked, a little uncertain

“Yes. Yes. Yes.” I answered with each new smack. I bucked a little as he rubbed his hand gently all around my ass as he swatted, caressing the stinging area between swats, but never stopping.

The moans got louder coming from me. My hips started to rock again, and he stopped. He pushed me up further onto the bed, releasing me from the hold. I climbed on and lay flat as he had told me to do. He bent, biting my hip; hard.

I squirmed away. He grabbed me and pulled me back to where I was, smacked my ass again.

“Where are you going?” He asked, and reached two fingers into my pussy from behind.

“I..” I couldn’t find words. He was filling me, completely, stretching me. I could feel how wet I was.

“Do you like THAT?” He asked and shoved another finger inside.

“YES” I cried out. He pulled his hands out and moved to bite and suck on my ass cheeks.

He ran his nails from both hands all over my thighs, cheeks, hips and up my back. He started groping at me, twisting the thick of my ass in his hands and pulling at me. This was in line of a rough massage. I didn’t prefer it at first, but he broke up the motions with fingers toying with my clit and bites and swats.

Before long, he was devouring my asshole. He took no time to stretch it and shoved his tongue inside, to fuck me with it. He had his full hand inside my pussy and was pushing up, hard. I was on a higher plane by now, completely out of touch with the pain it should have been causing. His teeth bore into me. If he went any harder, he might have drawn blood. It wouldn’t be the first time, if he did. Sometimes I completely lost touch with how much was too much, and he was too strong and powerful to realize my limits, as well. I was all right with that.

He sucked the flesh inside the rim of my ass, into his mouth and sucked on it. I could tell from the shaking on the bed that he was stroking himself as he did this. He ordered me to reach down and rub my clit.

“Would I be that easy on you?” He asked, still as cold and commanding as before. I rubbed harder. “Would I be that light? Harder.” I complied, but it didn’t feel as good as my usual rhythm, I didn’t care. It was sending me over the top. I could feel myself tighten on him, he was fingering my ass now, stretching it.

“Roll over, he said lifting up, pulling his hand out of me. I rolled over and immediately spread myself for him; he brought his hand up for me to lick some of my juices off of him. He was drenched. No doubt I was squirting on him. His eyes softened as he made eye contact with me again, but his voice was still cold “Are you mine?” He asked, filling me again with his fist.

I wanted to close my eyes and drop my head back, writhe under the pressure. I fought it, looked in his eyes and clearly said “yes”

“Say it,” His voice was firm, cold, demanding. His expression was pleading, begging to hear it. “I’m Yours. ALWAYS. Yours.” I repeated, and he slid his cock into my ass, after coating it with juices from pulling his hand out of my pussy while we spoke. I winced, as his size was more than I could usually bare. He stopped where he was. He knew not to push too far. At this point, the pain was minimal but still present. He reached into the cupboard of my old headboard to pull out the lube. He poured a sizeable amount directly into my ass and filled me again; this time was less of a pinch. I kept circling my clit with my fingers. It all felt amazing. He rocked slowly at first, to stretch me more. I felt more and more pleasure from him, so he slid deeper and deeper with every few moments. Finally he was fully inside of me, and I was crying out in pleasure to his thrusts. He was quickening the pace and deepening the roll of his hips. I rocked into him, wanting more and more. I was going absolutely wild.

Normally I couldn’t take him for long, if at all, because it was so uncomfortable. His cock was thick enough that it was tight for my mouth. None of my bodily orifices was particularly large. My pussy only took his hand for months and months of working to stretch it. It was something of a fetish of both of ours, honestly… occasionally. But it was not something I could imagine having with other lovers. Just him. There was a level of arousal, and trust I had with him like no other. A level of total comfort in sharing what I wanted completely. Not a liberty I had shared with anyone else, ever.

” You’re mine,” He said again, not wanting a response. Our eyes were locked now, and he was stroking himself inside of me. He reached down to push my hand away from my clit and took over as the look on his face, gave way to the sheer pleasure of being inside me. He realized I was in such a heightened state of pleasure from the rise he gave to my threshold of pain, that this felt too amazing to make him stop. This would be the first time in two years of trying I wouldn’t make him stop fucking my ass. “Yes,” I cried out a little as he pushed too far. I so badly wanted him to kiss me. I reached to touch him and saw layers of hurt and anger wash away from him. I doubted he would ever say it in words, but it was clear by everything that was happening, that our discussion about me having a romantic interest in someone who was willing and had been giving me things he would not; was painful for him. I knew from this instance that he would give me more of his time, and his attention. I knew what I wanted to do, even if it wasn’t feasible.

We had been together for two years, in a non-committed, non-exclusive way. He was my lover and my best friend, but that is where the line was drawn. We lived our own lives and did our own things. We were not partners or mates. He made no secrets and gave no false hopes to be more. I was willing to accept the way we had things; to at least stick to that, but knew eventually things would have to change, or end. In the end, I needed more. The reality was that he would probably never want that with me, and that sucked but The real question on both of our plates was how much more could he give, and how much less could I accept. Maybe the realest question of all, was how long could this last? Two years already. We were mostly okay. He loved me. I knew that, he had never said it, but I knew. He checked on me when I was sick, came to see me when I was sad. Called me when I wasn’t texting him back just to make sure I was okay. He helped to find solutions to problems in my life, and tips to help with my finances and was just a caring and amazing man.

He had a no tell policy on who or what he had going on with other women, but always wanted to know if I was with others and where I stood with them. It was a sick double standard. But it was one, I accepted. Partly because I knew my mind, and I didn’t want the details washing out our good things. I have a green monster in me, and if she gets a morsel, she feasts on everything good. I don’t want that to happen with him.

One time, he said he didn’t mind sharing me because he knew I would never feel for someone else the way I felt for him. I was in love with him. He knew that. What he knew now, was that I needed more than the daily texts, frequent phone calls and maybe once or twice a week, or every two weeks of a quickie before work, or at lunchtime. Occasionally he came and spent a few hours with me on a Friday afternoon, but never in his evenings and rarely on his weekends. He talked to me still but was busy. Work, school, more work, more school. Occasionally he would call me up and take me out to eat, or stop by just to see my face, or give me a kiss. Rarely did that kiss stop at a kiss, even though we would discuss the intent was not to turn it sexual. There was a very strong draw to one another that we both admitted to freely. Passion, desire.

I understood he worked 50-60 hours a week and had a consulting gig on the side, as well as school. A second master’s degree was time consuming, and I understood that, but it was too much to ask of me to spend all my time alone, and without some sense of security. For all, I could have another woman who was number one in his life, and that simply wasn’t okay. Having other women, I was okay with, but I wanted to be the main girl. I don’t do less with being the one on the side.

“You like that?” He asked as he fingered my pussy and played with my clit at the same time. He didn’t break eye contact with me and the conversation we were having with that alone, was moving me to a whole new world.

“You’re mine,” He said a little softer, almost a whisper. As he reached to grab my hand to replace his on my clit, then lay forward and finally began to kiss me. “You’re mine,” he whispered then and bent to chew, suck and fondle my breasts. He went back and forth from my mouth to my breasts. I was enjoying having him inside my ass a little less by now, but knowing what it did for him, to finally give him that part of me, completely with no restriction was amazing. He was inside of me without a condom. It was an ethereal high. The revelations of this possessive nature; now and times before that he had shown this side were always contradictory to his usual facade. He didn’t want to lose me. He’d said it before. He was jealous of my time; he’d admitted to that a few times, without directly saying it. He held me in a league above all others, which should have told me I was his number one in his life, but I needed to more than hear that one.

“Baby,” He whispered in my ear as he pulled out of my ass, and reached for a condom. He slipped it on quickly and slid into me. He pulled my hand away from my clit and locked his mouth on mine. The way he felt inside of me was bliss. My flesh was swollen and sore from the stretching he had done, and I had tightened up considerably. “Vaginal elasticity is beautiful” he had said to me more than once when I’d been concerned about being tight enough for him after.

He’d spoken many times about being able to cum in my ass, and how that would feel for both of us, the intimacy of that. Mostly he would cum on my breasts, and he would wipe it away just to feed it to me, or he would cum in my mouth. Once, not long ago, I was at the very tail end of a period when he was getting ready for a business trip, and he wanted to have me before he left for a week. He came inside of me then and lingered there. “You’re mine,” he had said then too. It sent ripples through me every time.

“Andi,” He whispered, stroking inside of me over and over, pounding into me. My thighs ached from the weight of him; my arms were wrapped tightly around him. “Andi, baby, Andi, Oh fuck baby…” He looked me in my eyes he stroked into me deeply for a moment. I saw a change in his expression, he was turning more deeply to emotion and his eyes glassed over. He buried his face in my breasts and breathed me in. He increased the depth of his strokes. I panted and cried out to him. I could hear myself getting louder, and louder. He moved to pull out of me, before I realized what was happening, he was on his knees, close to me, condom off, and stroking himself. I opened my mouth to take every drop he offered, and looked up at him, He looked down and me and stroked himself harder, and faster.

“Here you go baby,” He said just before bending closer to me, and releasing his seed.

I wrapped my lips around the head of him and pressed my tongue on the underside as the last of the many squirts came through to my mouth. I swallowed his offering, and he pulled away. Before moving to lay beside me, he pulled me further onto my side and caressed my bottom, and kissed the marks he had left from his nails, and teeth and the welts from the paddling.

“You can take one hell of a punishment baby,” he said softly, moving to lay down, taking me into his arms. He kissed me, deeply and powerfully. I melted in his embrace and never wanted to leave it.

“You give one hell of a punishment baby,” I countered when he released me from his lips. He grinned and kissed me again, holding me tighter. We kissed for a long while, this way, me on my side, him mostly on his back; our legs entwined; both of us completely sated. It was odd for after sex kissing to be so intense, but this time was. He curled into me a little more.

I wasn’t aware of grinding myself into his leg again, until he moved his mouth from mine and asked me if I was wanting and capable of taking more.

“Hmm?” I asked, completely intoxicated, and a little out of touch.

“Your hot little pussy is grinding my leg,” he said, and reached to touch my clit. I was sent instantly ten levels higher, and he kissed me again, fingering me. “How many times have you cum already, my love?” He asked, and slipped a few fingers into me.

“I…” I couldn’t respond, as he slipped in another few fingers. The intensity was almost too much. Kaden moved to suck my breasts into his mouth. He nibbled and sucked them. I know they would bruise. As it was, there were several different stages of marks on my tummy, hips, breasts and thighs from his mouth. We called them my trophies and were both turned on by them. I never left marks on him. It wasn’t my style. I was pretty sure he mainly made them to let other men who might see, know that I was taken, but that was okay by me. Because of the lack of commitment and exclusivity on him I’d spent time with other men, gone on dates, and even spent the night with another man a few times, but there was not a whole lot of sex happening, cuddling and making out had been my limit. My friend, Al, had erectile dysfunction anyway. I wasn’t letting Kaden know that.

“You are so beautiful,” he said as he moved to slide into me. I wrapped my thighs around him, and lifted my arms to caress his back. His moves were fluid. He rocked slowly, kissing me and rocking into me softly. There was a definite shift in his mannerisms. He caressed my hair, kissed along my jawline and my lips, and nose and eyelids. He looked into my eyes and told me how good I felt and how amazing I was. I kept wanting to tell him I love him, but I’d been down that road before; albeit a long time past and it hadn’t gone well. I refused to be the first to say it again. Kaden pulled back and wrapped his arms behind my knees. I moaned louder, and he pumped into me harder. I was always loved the feel of him inside of me without a condom. He would ask for one soon. It wasn’t that I wanted to have a baby right now but that the feel of a man cumming inside of me drove me wild. It was almost guaranteed to make me cum, just from the primal reaction alone. “Oh fuck,” I said as he lifted my hips higher and began to slam into me.

“Yea, baby?” he asked, softly

“Yes… Yes… Right there. Right… fucking… There….” I clawed at his back, and he pounded me harder. I was cumming almost immediately. Bent forward to kiss me and quickly pulled out, reaching for his cock and stroking to finish himself off all over my tummy.

He relaxed between my thighs and bent to lay his face on my breast. My thighs quivered as I lay beneath him, with his sweat beads rolling down his face, and warming my flesh. There was something primal in that as well, and I didn’t mind at all I caressed his hair and we lay there until our breathing and heartbeats returned to normal.

“I need to get back to the office babe, I have a meeting in about half an hour. Will you be home around six?” He asked, pulling on his jeans.

“I plan to be,” I said, reaching for my t-shirt to slip on while I walked him to the door.

“You bring the food, I’ll bring a movie. We can curl up and spend some time together.”

“Ok,” I said, forcing myself not to squeal with delight that he wanted to spend time with me.

“Can you make your shredded chicken?” He asked, slipping on his shoes.

“Absolutely,” I reached to straighten his collar and he caught my hand before I pulled it away.

“You know I adore you,” He said and kissed my knuckles.

“And I, you,” I stepped in closer and kissed his lips. He deepened the kiss and pulled me tight into his arms. We stood there for a while, and I could feel him harden again as he pressed against me.

“Two years and we still drive each other wild,” He said softly. “That has to be a record for me.” “Me too,” I admitted. He grinned and took me by the hand, and walked out of the bedroom, toward the front room.

“Ok baby, I’ll be back around six,” He kissed me again and started out the door.

I had to suppress a squeal. Less than five minutes later, my phone alerted me to a text

“That was some amazing nookie. Then again it ALWAYS is with you baby.” This squeal I could not suppress.

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